C H U R C H R E F O R M S E R I E S
By Biblicism Institute
The actress/scriptwriter Nia Vardalos in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding wrote the following line: “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.”
It may be a funny one-liner, but it’s a dangerous one.
Entertainment and media have a great influence on many people, and that one-liner has wormed its way into our society’s consciousness using a comedic wrapper to make it palatable, as it takes roots and reinforces a notion that many women are already inclined to develop. Some preachers even use it to make their audience laugh. But, in truth, it’s no laughing matter.
MAN IS THE HEAD. PERIOD.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:3
The head of woman is man, not Jesus. The head of an unmarried woman is her father or the elder brother if dad is deceased. The head of a married woman is her husband or whomever the husband puts in charge after his passing, usually the elder son who has the right of the firstborn.
“He shall acknowledge… the firstborn (male), by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.” Deuteronomy 21:17
From the very beginning, in the Garden of Eden, the woman managed to usurp the man’s authoritative role, and the result has been the catastrophic state of sin we currently find ourselves in.
The Serpent knew what he was doing when he approached the woman.
“And he said to the woman, ‘Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?’ ‘ ” Genesis 3:1
The most cunning of all creatures, he discerned that woman was the weaker vessel and therefore not built to withstand his attacks, and that man for all his bravado could not long endure a woman’s pleading eyes. He was certain that man’s ingrained chivalry would get the best of him.
He was right. Eve fell and then induced Adam to fall. Quite the bull’s-eye on both counts for the Serpent. In other words, he caused Eve to become the neck that turned Adam’s head, and voilà!
Since then women everywhere, way before Nia Vardalos penned that “funny one-liner”, have been either trying to “neck around” their husbands or have actually been doing precisely that.
The consequences of such a disposition are disastrous.
Women who embrace said frame of mind end up being these nagging and manipulative creatures that drive their husbands crazy or angry.
Many of these men bottle up their anger until one day they explode and divorce their wives. Some morph into these feeble, castrated individuals who are trapped and cannot move forward, while others are in a permanent state of resentment as they continually butt heads with their wives.
When God says that man is the head, He means it.
“Wives, respect and obey your husbands…” 1 Peter 2: 1
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5: 22
Feminism has conditioned most women, even many Christian ones, to rebuff the above-mentioned laws. To masquerade their unbecoming behavior, these women usually use the following nonsensical statements about their husbands – with our rebuttal.
- But he’s doing the wrong thing. Answer: Then advise him.
- But he doesn’t listen. Answer: Then the onus is on him, not on you.
- But he’s leading our family to disaster. Answer: Then why did you marry him?
- But I thought I could change him. Answer: Did you, now? Is the bride of Christ the one who changes to accommodate Him, or is it the other way around?
- But he’s gonna fail if I don’t take over. Answer: Then let him fail. There’s nothing wrong with failure. Failure sobers a man up and gives him wisdom. Moses failed to convince Pharaoh over and over until his persuasive argument won the day.
- But he’s gonna bring shame to me and my family. Answer: Ah-Ha! It’s your pride then. Shade of Eve.
- But he can’t make up his mind. Answer: Then wait until he can.
- But he’s lazy. Answer: Then why did you marry him?
- But I didn’t know. Answer: Did you follow The Biblical Marriage Blueprint?
- But I thought I could change him. Answer: Aren’t we going in circle here?
Women can help their husbands, advise them, encourage them, build them up when they’re down, etc., but in the end final decisions are up to the husband. God is the one who put him in charge, and therefore he’ll have to answer to Him.
When a woman takes upon herself the man’s responsibilities, she takes upon herself duties that were not assigned to her, and sooner or later the result will be a frustrated woman who’ll end up disrespecting, even despising her husband.
Job’s wife is a great example of how women can step out of their supportive role and be putty in the devil’s hand. She could not see God’s purpose in Job’s trials, so instead of showing respect to her husband she cursed him (and God) instead.
“Why don’t you curse God and die?” Job 2:9
Likewise, most women prefer to nag and nag until they get what they want, not unlike female characters in many movies who insolently mouth off at their husbands or at their fathers. Such a devastating sinful trait will drive a family to ruin, just like Eve drove her family out of the Garden.
“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9
“It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Proverbs 21:19
“A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one’s right hand.” Proverbs 27: 15-16
Women like these grind down a man’s self-esteem. They are the reason many run away from their wives and into the arms of those who indulge and respect their God-appointed position.
“Your adornment must not be merely external– braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.” 1 Peter 3: 3-5
MEN OF GOD
Now to the men.
Be men, godly men! Not sissies, nor brutes.
“But if someone doesn’t provide for their own family…They are worse than those who have no faith.” 1 Tim 5:8
“Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28
“Fathers, do not anger your children, but rear them in the discipline and in the teaching of Our Lord.” Ephesians 6: 4
Husbands must work hard and provide for their families in every aspect: financial, spiritual, emotional, in knowledge, in wisdom, in decision-making, etc. In other words, they must become real men, leaders of their homes.
Some husbands actually cause their wives to become the necks that turn their heads, and then they wax all hot and bothered, even angry.
There’s nothing uglier than a man who’s not a man, meaning a man who does not fulfill his responsibilities. If that’s you, then it’s about time you took back your role as head of your family and applied God’s principles to turn your situation around. But in so doing, remember to exercise loving firmness and patient understanding, especially if your wife has already settled in the neck-turning-the-head role.
“Husbands, dwell with your wives with understanding, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7
What if Adam had put his foot down and told Eve to behave? What if he had said, “Now listen darling, God said it’s a no-no to eat of the forbidden fruit. Now throw it away because I’ll have none of it. Quickly go and ask God to forgive you!” Do you think we’d all be in different circumstances right now?
In short, guys, be biblical men!
And you, ladies, be biblical women!
Your lives will be better for it.
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22